آهنگ: Stephen Lynch. Gerbil.

(Verse 1)
I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
If Richard Geere can do it i can too
I get undressed, I start to lube
I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube
Wondering just, How he'll feel
Will he like better than his little wheel
Careful now, He's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me

(CHORUS)
GOOOO!! GERBIL GOOOO!!

Burrow harder, Burrow deeper
Be my little chimney sweeper
One thing I forgot about
How am I supposed to get you out
(Laughter)

(Verse 2)
So now my gerbil's on easy street
Its warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
This situation is beyond my control
Gotta find away to get him out of his hole
I try crowbars, I try wires
I almost hurt him with a pair of pliers

I try cheese but he's not biting
I wish this wasn't so exciting

(CHORUS)
GOOOO!! GERBIL GOOOO!!

Jesus i am such a sucker
Please get out u furry fuOOh!
I think i am getting ill
Suddenly, He's very very still
(Pause)

(Verse 3)
Now it's too late my gerbil died
I guess I have commited, Gerbacide
Here's some advise, It's pretty clear cut
If you love your gerbil dont stick him up your butt
Don't stick him up your butt
Little furry gerbil in your booty hole
Don't stick him up your...(mumbles while singing)
Yeah...
(Clapping)