آهنگ: Soundtrack Artists. Satisfaction Guaranteed.

(Wolf howl)

Man
So, how was I?

Woman
Oh, you were good

Man
You mean good or UNBELIEVABLE?

Woman
Oh, stop it! I can't take it anymore. You were terrible.
I didn't get any pleasure. Not only didn't the earth move, the bed
hardly rocked. Oh, I wish there were something I could do about it.

Announcer
Hello!
Did you ever wish you could sue someone because they didn't satisfy you sexually?
Well good news, now you can!
At Gechovian, Myers, Masters,
and Johnson we have a large staff of sexually experience attorneys
who wanna get into your bedroom
and get you the orgasm you deserve!
Let's take a look at a typical couple engaged in love making.

Woman
Lower. Higher. Lower. Higher. Ugh.

Man
Ow, ow! Watch your knees!

Woman

Ow!

Announcer
Not very appealing. And all too familiar.
Now let's take a look at the same couple with a Gechovian, Myers, Masters,
and Johnson attorney present!

Attorney
I'm sorry, Mr. Elliot, but your contract states you must be nibbling her neck.
And Ms. Courtland, his feet must be fondled.

Man and woman
Oh, right right right. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Announcer
(Laughs) See how easy it is when you let a no-nonsense litigator handle
the negotiations of lovemaking?
Your intial consultation is just $25 and your fee can be a portion
of your settlement should your partner fail to satisfy your fetishes.

Woman
I got $5,000 because he missed my G-spot!

Man
And I got $10,000 because she wouldn't go down on me!

Announcer
At Gechovian, Myers, Masters,
and Johnson if your partner doesn't get you off, we get you money!