آهنگ: Shel Silverstein. Dirty Ol' Me.

Well I was sittin' up in my crane
Liftin' boulders in the rain
Can't get promoted no matter what I do
When the foreman, he comes 'round
And he yells up from the ground
He says "Hold that load up there for a minute or two,
'Cause I got to check some gear down here below,
So whatever you do with them rocks, just don't let go"
Just don't let go
Just don't let gooooooooooo ...

... I'm sittin' behind his desk, drinkin' coffee
It seems that he got hit by a rock or three
They're puttin' my name on the door
Where his name was before
AAAAAAAWWW! Dirty ol' me!
Say, Dirty ol' me

Now my best friend had confessed
That his life had been a mess
Yeah, when he was young, he robbed the bank and then ran
But now he lives an honest life
And he's got a lovely wife
But still it hurts to be a wanted man
But he said "Nobody knows about it but my friends and kin,
And I know none of them would ever turn me in"
They'd never turn me in
They'd never turn me innnnnnnnnnnn ...

... I'm slouchin' on his couch, drinkin' his whiskey
Well it seems somebody called the police on he
And between the hugs and kisses
That I'm gettin' from his Mrs.
I think, AAAAAAAWWW! Dirty ol' me!

Dirty ol' me!

And then of course it follows
I found a suitcase full of dollars
About fifteen thousand of 'em, more or less
And inside, there was a note
That some poor old lady wrote
Givin' me her name and her address
And it said, "If lost, finder, please return without hesitation,
'Cause I've been savin' this money for fifteen years
Strippin' and sufferin' and takin' in washin',
Scrubbin' floors, and sellin' flowers in the snow,
And now I need it for a serious operation"
A serious operation
A serious operationnnnnnnnn ...

... I'm layin' on the beach in Acapulco
Got enough money to last till I'm ninety three
And I'm eatin' enchilidas
Served by lovely seea±oritas
Thinkin', AAAAAAAWWW! Dirty ol' me!
I'm thinkin' Dirty ol' me!

Yeah, I can't face myself ... aww ...
Y'know, but, when you really think about it,
I mean ... that foreman ... I mean ...
He had compensation, and ... prob'ly could use the rest
And y'know ... my friend 'll prob'ly feel a lot better
When he pays his debt to society and won't have that pressure on him
Yknow, and that old lady?
Y'know ... if there was such an old lady
It prob'ly was a false note anyway, but if there was, she ...
She can get MediCare, they've got ...
I mean, I'm not tryin' to make excuses or nothin', y'know, I mean ...
I mean, I can't stand to look at myself sometimes, I mean ...
I-I feel the guilt
Honey, pass me some more of that tequila
I 'm just tryin' to forget! Dirty ol' me!
Yeah, just move a little closer, yeah
Some o' them frijoles, I LOOOVE frijoles, yeah, I want ...
Yeah, I-I got the money right here, yeah ...